It’s possible I spilt some water on myself and everyone seems to have noticed. On the train, anyone sitting near me moves a few seats away. Two girls go to enter the train, see me, and run down to another car.
I actually spill some water on myself, all down the front of my pants and on my shoes, and no one seems to notice.
after Lydia Davis
She is new to the city and so spends a lot of time in the house.
The house has two levels and she lives upstairs. Her room is connected to a studio full of small, old books and new paintings. The staircase that leads upstairs is lined with framed paintings and drawings and photos and a degree.
A man, a musician, lives downstairs. He is hardly ever home and so the house feels like her house.
After a few days in the house she begins to sweep. One window beside the table in the lounge opens out to the yellow shed and two plum trees in the garden. The window is left always open for the cat and she leaves the front door open in the day, as she is told this is the custom in this house, and so the floors are covered in brown leaves and stones and specks blown in or brought in by the cat. The dust and leaves and stones settle in the corners of the house or under the chairs and tables and cabinets in a usually unnoticeable way, so she only sweeps lightly, when a lot of hair shows on the bathroom tiles or if a stone sticks to her sole when she is walking through the house.
She finds things she needs, like a broom and dustpan, in the house, and then loses them, and then finds another similar thing, as the house is full of objects. She finds things and finds things she wasn’t looking for but could need and finds other things that are just there: tiny wooden bowls, a large safety pin, a sealed glass bottle of water on the mantel over the fireplace, a taxidermy chipmunk under a glass bell jar, a softened stick of butter under a lid on a dish on the counter. Other things she can not find, like a can opener and sugar, and so buys what she needs, filling in the holes of the house.
I am a night porter, which means I am a cleaner. A mouse lives under the sink. Cockroaches travel through the walls. I set out glue traps for the mouse. In front of the fridge, in front of the floor drain. The mouse runs inside the fridge and touches the fish. The mouse runs from the kitchen to the dining room and I catch it under a bowl on the bar top next to a vase of flowers at sunrise.
The others were screaming about a bug. A house centipede. It’s so huge! Its legs are so long! It moves so weirdly! I was not in the room with the house centipede, I was in another room, but I did not get up. Was this the right decision? I fear the house centipede will come for me and I won’t know it.
I took a taxi from the airport. I’d said “B.K.” but the taxi driver had heard “B.O.”
Upon arriving in B.O. the taxi driver said, “B.O.”
“I said B.K.”
“Love of…Do u know how to get there from here?”
I whispered, “No”
“What did u say?”
“Yes I said”
You leave me $80. Four $20 bills. I count them again. $80. I put the $80 in my wallet and go out to do something. While out I open my wallet to check on the $80. I count $60. I count again. $60. Three bills. I search through the pouches of my wallet for a hidden bill. I fold and unfold the three bills. I go home. You come home after work. I ask, “How was work?” I tell you I lost $20. You ask if I went out. You tell me work was excellent.
ode to wi
in 3 days, yesterday
my work is almost done
so i am almost free
u will be a flower
instead of me I’m
just a flour
everything i know
i cant concentrate to, myself
im really painful
im just, i thought, im nothing
in my personal thinking
we have a similar symptom
-.- -.- -.- -.- -.- -.- -.- -.-
i can take a shower now
im really ok now
i can start my today now
I’m close to you
im shy so i imagined me through us
oㅁo oㅁo oㅁo oㅁo
i always live w ur time, that small mountain
two people and one
food, holding girls, angel steps
green apple morn 8ㅅ8